Like with many things emotional, you cant get much better at them till you understand what the fuck they are. You have no concept where youre going or how to get there. Set up time in your day to get away from them. I get truly touchy about being interrupted. I get irrationally upset when Im attempting to speak and the individual Im speaking to is sidetracked.
Like with a lot of things emotional, you cant get better at them until you understand what the fuck they are. When you lack self-awareness, attempting to manage your emotions is like sitting in a tiny boat without a sail on top of the sea of your own feelings, completely at the whim of the currents of whatever is occurring minute by minute. You have no idea where youre going or how to get there. And all you can do is yell and shriek for assistance.
Self-awareness involves comprehending yourself and your habits on three levels: 1) what youre doing, 2) how you feel about it, and 3) the hardest part, determining what you dont understand about yourself.
Understanding What Youre Doing
You would think this would be straightforward and pretty basic, however the truth is that in the 21st century, most of us do not even know what the fuck were doing half the time. Were on auto-pilot– check e-mail, text BFF, check Instagram, enjoy YouTube, check email, text BFF, and so on, and so on
. Removing distractions from your life– like, you know, turning off your damn phone every now and then and engaging with the world around you is a good very first step to self-awareness. Finding areas of silence and solitude, while possibly scary, are necessary for our psychological health.
Other kinds of diversion consist of work, TV, drugs/alcohol, video games, cross-stitching, arguing with individuals on the internet, etc. Schedule time in your day to avoid them. Do your morning commute with no music or podcast. Simply consider your life. Believe about how youre feeling. Set aside 10 minutes in the morning to practice meditation. Erase social networks off your phone for a week. Youll typically be surprised by what occurs to you.
We use these distractions to prevent a great deal of uncomfortable emotions, therefore focusing and removing diversions on how you feel without them can expose some kind of frightening shit sometimes. But getting rid of distractions is vital since it gets us to the next level.
Knowing What Youre Feeling
You may realize that theres a lot of anxiety going on, and that entire “phone addiction” thing is truly just a method to continuously numb and distract yourself from that stress and anxiety. Its essential at this point to not evaluate the feelings that occur.
Youll be lured to say something like, “Ick! That just makes it worse. Whatever emotion is there has a great factor to be there, even if you do not remember what that reason is.
Knowing Your Own Emotional Bullshit
When you see all the icky, uncomfortable stuff youre feeling, youll begin to get a sense of where your own little crazy resides.
I get really touchy about being disrupted. I get crazily angry when Im trying to speak and the individual Im speaking to is distracted. And while in some cases it is simply them being impolite, often shit takes place and I end up looking like an overall dickface because I cant stand going two seconds without every word I speak being appreciated.
Now, just being self-aware is not sufficient in and of itself. One need to have the ability to handle their feelings too.