“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never ever do anything smart in this world.” Helen Keller
How do you respond if something in your life doesnt go as you want?
Well, in the beginning youll most likely feel discomfort of some sort.
What occurs after that? What do you do after the preliminary discomfort?
Do you believe of yourself as a victim, as somebody with little or no control or power?
Do you slip back into a familiar headspace where you pity yourself and where you seem like somebody– or the entire world– protests you?
Be truthful with yourself and get inspiration to change by seeing how destructively this will impact your life over the next 12 months and over the next 3 or 5 years.
Action 3: Replace the victim believing with something more practical.
To not create a vacuum where all those ideas about being a victim used to run around for hours upon hours you need to replace the negative idea habits with something more useful.
Like for example:
After that preliminary pain is gone– or smaller– you do not have to develop more suffering for yourself.
Instead, tap into thankfulness.
I sometimes do that by asking myself this question to zoom out on my situation and to gain a more level-headed point of view:
Does someone on earth have it worse than me today?
Take and learn action..
After tapping into a more grateful frame of mind my mind likewise becomes more available to getting an optimistic answer out of my next concern.
Its generally something like:.
What is one thing I can gain from this situation?
Then I follow that up with:.
What is one small step I can require to move forward or out of this situation today?
Ask yourself: How can I give worth to one individual in my life today?.
Assist this individual out in some way by being kind, by listening or by doing something almost for instance.
By doing so youll feel more effective once again. Youll develop more happiness for the other individual and youll feel better about your day too.
I actually like this quote about forgiveness from Catherine Ponder:.
” When you hold bitterness towards another, you are bound to that person or condition by a psychological link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to liquify that link and secure free.”.
You do not have to forgive just because it is something you “should do”.
You dont need to do it to be the better person either.
You can do it just for yourself. For your own well-being and flexibility.
Release yourself from the agony and focus your restricted energy and time on things that will make you happier
I used to get stuck in that damaging and self-confidence sucking method of thinking rather typically. And I know that lots of people get stuck in it from time to time.
Or regularly than that.
So this week I d like to share 3 actions that helps me to move out of that headspace and replace it with something much better.
Step 1: Recognize the benefits of the victim mentality.
The victim mindset can be pretty helpful in the brief term and for pleasure principle. A few benefits are:
Attention and recognition.
You can constantly get great feelings from other individuals as they are worried about you and try to help you out.
However it might not last for that long as individuals get tired of it.
You dont need to take risks.
When you seem like a victim you tend to not take action. And so you dont have to run the risk of, for instance, failure or rejection.
Dont need to take the obligation.
Taking obligation for your own life can be effort, you need to make difficult choices and it is simply hard from time to time.
In the short-term it can seem like the easier choice to not take personal obligation.
It makes you feel like youre.
When you feel like the victim and like another person is incorrect and you are best then that can lead to enjoyable feelings.
In my experience, by simply being conscious of the benefits I can stem from victim believing it ends up being easier to state no to that whenever such ideas begin to sneak up and to pick to take a various course.
Action 2: Ask yourself what the long-lasting consequences of this will be.
The benefits above can be rather addictive.
However what will the long-term effects of getting stuck in victim thinking be?
How will it hold you back from doing the important things you deep down dream about in life?
How will it impact your most essential relationships?
How does it impact your relationship with yourself?